A Few Childhood Memories

“Girls are like slugs. They serve some purpose but it's hard to imagine what.” Reading the above panel in Calvin and Hobbes took my mind back to my childhood when my sentiments closely echoed those of Calvin. Getting bored on a Saturday afternoon with nothing to look forward to for the next three days, I decided to make this long post about a few childhood memories.

1. The routine miracles : Calvin would have been proud of the fuss I made about going to school; until my mother had a idea that to me today classifies as pure genius. She convinced me that if i prayed real hard; I would get chocolates in my lunchbox and my water would get coverted to orange squash. It really did happen and these little miracles reconciled me to spending a quarter of my life-span gaining knowledge. It was only much later that I realised that God while perfectly capable of turning water to wine had entrusted the duty of converting water to orange squash to my mother. In fact she even hid behind the curtain to eavesdrop on my prayers to find out which chocolate was to appear miraculously in my lunch-box. What appears to us strange and wonderous in our childhood days always seems to have a perfectly logical explanation later in life

2. Wanderlust : A restless day in school saw me wander away from my class unnoticed. School was just across the road and going back home seemed like a great idea. How a 4 year old boy crossed the busiest street in Jaipur on his own without becoming road-kill is still unknown and may count as a miracle ( A real one this time!). After finally managing to pack me away to school my mom was just sitting down when she heard me singing outside the house. I knew the colony but didnt know which building my house was in and I was just roaming around singing " Tinkle Tinke Litti Tar" at the top of my voice. She rushed out and picked me up and the story had a happy ending except for my teacher who got a real-talking to for negligence of duty and was suspended from duty.

3. Cats : She had just given birth to 5 kittens and was protecting them much like a lioness protects her cubs. National Geographic was not around those days and I unwittingly picked up one of those kittens. A blur of motion is all i remember till her claws made contact with my face tearing away half my right cheek. I remember blood pouring down my clothes and tears streaming down while I howled like a dog that has just been stoned. I was rushed to hospital while she was thrown out of the house. Since then I have had a dislike for cats and I believe from their reactions the feeling is mutual.

4. Girls : To prevent me from crying my lungs out while being bundled to school; I was dragged at times to a neighbours house whose two girls went to the same school. Apparently I found it shameful to cry in front of girls and went to school without a fuss. Looking back I have fallen prey to the wily ways of girls even before I could comprehend their purpose on this earth!

5. Fireworks : It was two days before Dusshera and the older boys were stuffing crackers into the effigies of the demons for Ram Leela. I was standing by as a curious bystander and suddenly noticed a lighter that had been left lying around. As soon as I figured out how to operate it; I tried to set fire to the big heap of firecrackers lying around. Luckily it was snatched out of my hand before I blew us all to kingdom come. In fact his timely action is the only reason why I am still alive and writing this blog today ( Yeah i know what you are thinking; He should be publicly hanged for his foolishness!)

And with that I have posted enough for the time being. Of course I did not remember all the details and its only through painstaking research that I have managed to present my reader(s) with the accurate and unabridged version of these events!