Secrets to a Successful Blog

So here i was sitting contemplating on various random things like why did my accent suddenly turn psuedo- american while talking to staff from the admissions centre of universities and whether it was possible that someone had created a voodoo doll with my resemblance when another pertinent question struck my consciousness. I was checking my number of profile visits or people who read this blog ( I admire your courage!!) and found the number to be around 20. Considering that half of these were made by me to see if me clicking my profile increased the number of visits ( it does!) and whether people read my blog ( quite obviously not!) I am left with a clientile of maybe 3 or 4. Quite staggering figures those!!

Like any newbie blogger I had started this blog with the intention of catering to a wide audience, things were not quite working out the way i intended them to. So like I said at the beginning as a learning experience I decided to take a closer peek at some of the more well-read blogs and ascertain the reasons for their success . And then the reason for my abject failure struck me like a dumper truck at 100mph. I had been wrong from the very outset. Most of my posts were light-humoured sarcasmless takes on quite ordinary life events which I believed was what people looked for in a blog. But considering the posts in other blogs I have figured what really attracts the viewers must have one or more of the following characteristics.

1. The post mush show you to be a deeply disturbed individual struggling to find normalcy in a world where sanity is revered. So stuff like " Nothing makes sense. I'm headed forward with no fixed destination. "is lapped up by the discerning audience

2. The message in the post be profound. In fact the profundity should be of such an extent that the reader necessarily must not be able to make head or tail of it. In some cases even the blogger must lose track of what what is being said and trail off into a plethora of unrelated big ( may not be GRE but substituting a big word where a smaller word could have been easily used) words that may not convey any information but make the reader draw his breath at such a sumptous offering from the literary gods.

3. Poetry : Who does not like poems. So fill your blog with poems while not giving a damn for meter or rhyme of any of the silly, archaic laws of poetry ( who the hell even knows about laws of poetry?)

4. The most important rule : people love misery. Seeing other people stumble through life's obstacles is an elixir for most giving them an experience akin to nirvana. Obviously Buddha was quite off-the-mark when he said true love for all nature is the path to moksha and eternal bliss. All you need to be happy is see a fellow human-being suffer. And if you can make Anne Frank pale in comparison in your blog you have a wide readership almost instantaneously hooked to your blog messaging you to update it at all costs

5. Last but not the least express your deep anguish at any tragedies and wonder aloud when will things change, finish your blog and then get back to your normal life. Express your deep desire however to change the system in whatever way you can (obviously you cant!). The reading public loves to see rebels without a clue ( oops did i say clue i meant cause!!).

After preparing the list I sat down to see which of my posts confirmed to any one of the desired characteristics and sadly you the regular readers are already aware of the answer.

So here I am faced with a difficult decision : to stay true to the intent with which the blog was initially started or to change my style to accede to the demands of the reading public and transform myself into a media celebrity and gain instant popularity.

Keep watching this space with bated breath ( too much??) to find out What Happens Next!!